So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
