you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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