I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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