So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
