I must be too annoying 4 u.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i think i just lost a toe
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
