i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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