i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
