your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
