she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
