No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
