only if we run a train.
done.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
