I'm really into asian looking animals
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
should my penis look like a turkey
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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