She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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