went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize