doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
