Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
