Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
