with your own penis?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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