I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
