she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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