well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
