If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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