Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
