I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
