sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
too bad you live with your parents still
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
