So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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