I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they need to just BURY HIM!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
