that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You made out with two different species that night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
