Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
