belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
