So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
