his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
