a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
