What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
