so explain again why im purple
no
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
