u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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