I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
