Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
