i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
