What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
