She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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