grandma shit on top of the toilet
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
