don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
