Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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