I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
