It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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