The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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