why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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