the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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