Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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