So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
